When Pigs Dry

I noticed that we have some of those swanky hand driers installed in the toilets - the 'air blade' type. They look a bit like paper shredders for hands. Although perfectly positioned on the wall, I don't think I'd trust them with the demoistification of my testiclays.

Apparently their installation in toilets across the land has something to do with the Swine Flu scare, in that they leave your hands a few percent cleaner. Sure, this global pandemic is a bitch for human life on earth as we know it, but it's party time for the hand-dryer boys. It's almost tempting to believe that manufacturers have cooked up this little flu themselves, using a bath tub, some sparkles and PVA glue and lots of sneezing.

"Well John, I admire your thrusting presentation and…yes…the new X340 Airblade IS a hand drying revolution…but cooking up a global pandemic in a bath tub...is that the direction that we want to be taking at Global Wetness Solutions?"

All dissenters probably had their bollocks fed into the new model.