18 August
Went up Arthur's Seat for the annual fury. It's always at about this time. Sometimes before. I always remember it taking an hour or so, but if you're in the right mindset (i.e. peeved) you can do it much quicker. Exercise on anger is incredibly effective. (Even the portly man can shave minutes off his personal best if someone would only shout “Oi fatso.”) When I got up there, I was ambivalent to find that Barry Ferns was putting on a gig. It's the one place I go to avoid comedy, and they decide to stick on a gig. Clucking Bell. Fair play to Barry though, it's an amazing venue. That guy does about 4 shows per day. This is what I'm up against. Arthur Smith was shouting about things and BBC Radio 4 were recording it. Sweet publicity.
I loved the wind up at the top. I went to one of the slightly lower and less populated outcrops and let it blow over me. It drowned out all other sound. I thought "Everything is temporary, life is fleeting, let the wind blow it all away" but that didn't help me figure out my immediate problems. I tried meditation, but was too busy fuming. I then took a precarious cliff face root down. Some people who were climbing down the footpath looked at me ponderously as I inched down on my hands and feet, bum pressed to the rock. I found it therapeutic. There's nothing like real and present fear to take one's mind off more intangible troubles. After avoiding death I bought a fancy pizza and a bottle of coke and thought "Fuck it". Then I bought a side salad. I went to bed and had a strange nap.
I started my gig well. There were lots of geezer types in with their dolly birds. I started doing banter. They loved that. I then started doing my show. When I started doing the bit about procrastination, they obviously had no idea what they I was banging on about. I then tried one normal joke to test them. They had stopped listening. I then suggested that they could leave if they'd rather be somewhere else. They left without much fuss. I invited everyone who wanted to watch the show to the front and it wasn't bad. At times, my delivery was stilted, but it was okay. An old colleague was there. Her friend afterwards advised me that my timing was off, and maybe I should take acting classes. I agreed that my timing was a little strange, but it was becuase the material is still relatively new and I still hadn't entirely relaxed. The acting classes bit made me want to kick her in the shins. She talked to Zeinu like he was from another planet. I enjoyed spectating.
We went out to a few places and then everyone decided to go home. Zeinu was disappointed and hopped from foot to foot like a frenetic toddler. He complained bittertly when I said we were going home. This happens quite a lot to him in Edinburgh, becuase most of his friends are of an age/disposition when they don't want to go on the lash every night. I found a random group of teenagers and introduced him to them. I thought he would be quite the novelty for them. I was right. Responsibilities settled, I went home and left him to it. I got a text from him the next day saying that he had an amazing night and that the teenagers were remapant womanisers who stole other people's drinks when they weren't looking. He was quick to add that he bought his from the bar. Very proud.
No comments:
Post a Comment